Whenever we asked our Scoutmaster Mr. Z. how much further we had to hike, he always replied: “Four More Miles!” This refrain stuck with me over the years, and I constantly reflect on the key lesson. The distance to go does not matter. The only thing that matters is that you just keep going. Yet I have had several moments this year I when I did not know what step to take.
Earlier this year when the startup I worked for conducted large layoffs, I felt a lot of momentum evaporated. I decided to double down and keep pushing myself. Despite doubts in the company’s direction (and doubts in myself), I reassessed and kept going. I helped the company prepare our robotic apple harvesters for the season. There were late Friday nights and plenty of rainy days in the field where my boots got muddy. I had a small part to play, but I learned a lot about robotic motion control and had the opportunity to be present for some key investor demos. After one of the demos, I even got a chance to fly the CTO’s plane for a short while. Somehow, in the middle of the apple season, I managed to find the time to summit Mt. Whitney, which was really helpful in balancing out my work life. None of this would have been possible if I just gave up and quit after some turbulence.
This season, I spent 3 weeks in Eastern Washington. We would fly into Seattle and then drive over Snoqualmie Pass to the orchards. On these drives, I would never ask how much further we had to go, but sometimes I would just stare out the window and reflect. Sometimes I get stuck trying to figure out what is the right path to walk down instead of just moving forward the best I can.
On the last trip of the season, I was the only engineer sent to the field, so I travelled solo. As a consequence, I spent even more time alone in my head. Mostly I reflected and sorted through my motivations. Was I pushing myself because of an internal inspiration (curiosity, thrills)? Was I primarily motivated by external gratification (wealth, status, respect)? Was I doing all of this to overcome lingering self-doubt after feeling betrayed in key relationships?
There’s nothing quite like tackling technical challenges and climbing mountains to make the time pass quickly as I ponder these questions. Soon the trip was over and I was once again at the airport waiting for my flight home. Hungry, I ordered some Chinese food, ate it, and opened my fortune cookie.
